So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
