Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize