i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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