I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
