he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
