It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
