You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
