I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
