I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
