in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
do nipples grow back?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
