he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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