Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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