once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
