guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
