Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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