Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
