You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
