listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
