If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
A+ Viking dick
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
