I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize