he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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