either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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