I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize