Fuck appropriateness.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
