cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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