last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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