I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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