I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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