Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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