She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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