I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
