his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize