Grow some girl-balls and come out already
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize