Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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