Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
NoShamevember. You game?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
