the condom got lost in my hair
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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