i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
be right there i have to get my cape
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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