you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize