Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she looked like the before picture.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
