Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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