Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
