she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
