take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
