Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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