Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
