Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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