I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
