This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
