I wish I could punch you in the face.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
