She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
How external is "for external use only"?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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