What a fucking waste of an outfit
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
