Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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