The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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