Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
high people should be assigned attendants
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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