cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
