new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
