playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
