you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Randomize