I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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