Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
