I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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