Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
