Just fell off a train. Bad.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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