he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize