Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
